It's hardly possible to believe this, but I truly feel that my time as a blogger has finally come to an end.
There's no specific reason for this, no catastrophe, nothing negative, I'm not being swayed into this decision by anything other than my heart. My heart is no longer here on this blog, it's pulling me in new directions, and it has been for quite some time.
I've got new creative roads to travel and they are exciting and kind of scary, but I must travel them. I can't keep these things at bay any longer, I can't quiet the call. To do so would only restrict my own growth, and I know that now, with certainty.
This cozy little blog that has been my happy place and sanctuary for six years is no longer a priority to me. It no longer serves a purpose in my life, in fact, it's more of a distraction now. Something that once felt integral to the wellness of my being now feels like a bad habit. As the years have passed and life has taken its course, I have changed and so has my life. The feeling of needing to keep this blog is crippling when it used to be so entirely uplifting... it has become the opposite of inspiring for me.
In order to be able to fully immerse myself into this new ocean that is flooding my heart, I've got to let go.
Letting go has never been an easy thing for me to do, especially when love has been so deeply associated with a thing that my soul gets involved, and my soul has been poured out over this blog exhaustively. I say that to say that this is not an easy thing for me to do. It's not easy for me to think of disconnecting from the friends that met me here, or to lose any friend simply by vanishing from the blogosphere, and I certainly don't want to. But, be that as it may, I have to go and hope for the best.
Please know how much your words have enriched my life these past six years, how deeply your friendship and support and love has impacted my existence for good. Please know that I will miss you so sincerely.
I will still be on the internet, in other circles, and if you see me around please wave hello.
I wish you all the best, and I hope you will send good vibes into the universe for me as I embark on this new adventure. Send me wings.
Long may you run and fare thee well,
I should be packing, but before I can do that I need to decide what to wear, which really is the million dollar question right now. What in the world will I wear in Dallas?
It's not as if I don't know what is worn in the Big D, I did, after all, live in the general vicinity part of my life, so I'm pretty familiar... this is more of a 'holy smokes, I gave away all my best dressy clothes!' panic.
Just before I moved here, to the mountains, in an effort to liquidate some of my assets (read: massive downsize was necessary to prepare for the teeny tiny closet to come) I gave away almost all of my dresses, tons of shoes, and approximately $1,500 worth of handbags (ouch). I only kept the items I knew I would use continually, which is all fine and good here, but not at all on trend anywhere else. And although I have since added to my wardrobe, it's all still just practical and highly useful mountain-life apparel.
I mean, I have four different pairs of snow boots, for crying out loud. I have two pair of cowboy boots. And hiking boots. Birkenstocks. Also running shoes, and a whole basket full of a colorful variety of flip-flops.
In addition to that, I'm fairly certain the last time I wore heels was the day I got married, nearly two years ago.
The only reason I'm going to Texas (and by God, I do mean the VERY ONLY REASON I WOULD EVER GO THERE AGAIN (yes, I have serious Texas issues)) is to spend a glorious four days hanging with a few hundred social media babes, and I wouldn't miss it, and I don't really miss any of my dressy clothes either, I just know that Sorel's and flannel shirts won't, um, blend. And I'm nothing if not highly opposed to being an eyesore.
I'm currently waiting for three packages of dresses to arrive via FedEx and snail mail but the shipping notices and tracking numbers are showing zero sense of urgency. Damn you sale ad emails boasting free shipping! You didn't tell me that 'free shipping' meant 'we will eventually send you the items you ordered, but only one item at a time, and probably well after you need them.'
I probably won't get around to packing until the day before I leave. Or maybe the morning of.
Until then, I'll get caught up on Girls, I guess. While finding very important things to pin to my Good Wear board.
“May your coming year be filled with magic and dreams and good madness. I hope you read some fine books and kiss someone who thinks you’re wonderful, and don’t forget to make some art — write or draw or build or sing or live as only you can. And I hope, somewhere in the next year, you surprise yourself.” - Neil Gaiman
This coming year, or the year it is now that still feels like it just began even though it is somehow already March, has already proven to be one filled with surprises.
For instance, I have only ever attended one blogging conference (BlogHer '09) and while it was unquestionably one of the highlights of my personal life, I was pretty sure I wouldn't attend another conference again. This is mostly because I imagined another conference of its like could only pale in comparison to what that time in Chicago was. Because life is like that. Something can only be awe-inspiring-ly new once, then it becomes familiar and after that routine, and I didn't want that to happen to my blog world (for me personally). I like living in awesome wonder as much as I can, and I didn't want to sully any of my wonderment. And I know that probably doesn't make any sense at all.
However, this year, all of the sudden, and quite out of the blue, the opportunity to attend another conference was presented to me and I jumped at it like I was sprinting through an airport terminal about to miss the most important plane of my life. And I can't really explain why any of this is, it's just something I know on the inside I need to do, and need to do now.
In two weeks I am flying to Dallas to attend BlissDom 2013, and I am so excited and filled with wonder anew. I'm rooming with two gals I don't know yet, and one gal who I met and instantly loved at BlogHer in Chicago. We will be friends for life after this conference, I know it, because that's how this stuff works, and I'm so thrilled I could burst with anticipation.
I don't know what this experience has in store for me, or why it is that I am supposed to go, I just know that I'm meant to be there this time. I can only imagine what might transpire, but I hope that I'll be open and ready to take whatever it is with me into the next phase of whatever my future holds. It's going to be sooo good though, I can already tell.